When I was back in my schooling days, I was envious of my guy friends who have girlfriends. Bear in mind, I was single for 24 years of my life.
One day, I asked one of my good friends, who has a girlfriend, a simple question: “do you intend to marry her eventually?” My friend responded, “I don’t know, I have not thought that far”. I was taken aback for a moment, if you had no intention to marry her, then what’s the purpose of getting into a relationship?
I always told myself, I would want to marry and spend the rest of my life with the right girl. Well, back then, every girl seemed to be the right one 😅 How immature I was as I look back. Thankfully, I managed to honour my words. I married my first girlfriend!
I am very fortunate to be able to find someone who shares the same values and beliefs as me, and we are very clear that we are there to support each other to achieve our individual dreams. I aspire to be able to take care of my family financially and help my friends to achieve their financial successes. She aspires to make a difference in the lives of her students.
Both my wife and I believe strongly in this, “Falling in love is by chance, Staying in love is by choice” We even wrote it on a signboard to be displayed during our wedding as well!
Saying “I do” is easy, but there was one big incident when I truly felt my definition of commitment put to test. We had a big argument over the differences in handling household chores, as I did not have much experience in doing chores. At that moment, I only had 2 choices, to give up or to persevere on. I bit my bullet and put my focus to improve myself drastically. It has shaped my own character. I learned that if we cannot cross this hurdle together, we will not be able to cross the next one, because I believe bigger and bigger challenges were bound to come to us, in our lifetime.
I enjoyed my journey of self-discovery towards the deeper understanding of commitment and it applies to many areas of my life as well. I learned that the clearer the purpose I have, the stronger my commitment becomes.
For example, I failed many times to build my habit of exercising because I was not clear why I need to exercise. Recently, when I realised that my energy depleted easily throughout the day, it hindered my ability to perform in the work that I am passionate about. I finally found a strong reason to start up my exercise routine and I find all ways to make it happen.
Likewise, when I decided to pursue this career, I never had second thoughts about it. I committed myself to create wealth for friends who trusted me. I know I am not perfect, but I committed to improving on my communication, my expertise, and my relationships with the people around me: my family, my mentors, my friends, and myself. As I progress, I continue to strengthen my commitment!
With my strong commitment to my family, my friends, and my work, no matter what challenges that I face, my commitment remains unchanged and I will use the remaining time of my life to continue to prove it!
What is your commitment?
Author: Derek Ho